Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
