We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
