I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
