I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
