I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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