he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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