we're blogging at a bar
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
