PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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