how can u be prego again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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