You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
either way he was missing a nipple.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
