somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
