I just cut my nipple shaving
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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