Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize