I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
