I can text with my tongue
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think people are normalizing furries
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize