She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
