According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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