My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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