The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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