Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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