dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
