If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
