Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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