i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
