Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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