meet me or not, i'm out of control
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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