you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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