Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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