i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize