So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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