my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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