I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
