I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Bring me that man meat
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize