so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
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I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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