I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
