your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
