i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
