it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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