i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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