I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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