he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
