just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
