We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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