is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's blow job season.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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