I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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