Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ruined the universe
Randomize
