I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
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Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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