I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone