I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..