Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
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A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours