making cat noises will not fix the situation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?