But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
