I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
