i just google imaged poop.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
