my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm really busy with my period
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