Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
