He asked to "fluff my boner.."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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