he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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