that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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