no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
