did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
