Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
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He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
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There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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