More tranny stories later!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
