i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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